You're not falling out of love. You're dysregulated.

Most couples who come to see me aren't incompatible. They're overwhelmed, by the relentless pressure of modern life landing on nervous systems that were already primed for vigilance long before this relationship began. The distance, the conflict, the feeling that you've become strangers, it's not a verdict on your relationship. It's a signal worth understanding.

The experience of Relational Trauma can give rise to any number of adaptive behaviours. Because of our genius when we are young (don’t worry, I still think you’re brilliant) it is natural for us to create adaptations when we experience something that feels overwhelming for us.